Obvious Heart
by LittleKnux2008
Summary: [McWeir] The dreaded day had finally come to Atlantis: Valentine’s Day. Oh sure, the Hallmark holiday seemed innocent enough—but no more. The hearts no longer stood for deep love, no, now they symbolized wrenching anguish.
1. Part 1 of 2

**Title: **Obvious Heart

**Rating: **PG/PG: 13

**Pairings: **McKay/Weir/Sheppard

**Genre: **Angst/Romance Songfic

**Author's Note:** Another little McWeir angst story… :) Can't get enough of those! Anyway, I hope you like… Please review!

**Disclaimer: **I own the story. The characters are © of MGM and the lyrics belong to Finger Eleven ("Obvious Heart").

**Distribution: **WeirMcKayship and here.

**IMPORTANT:** Recently it has come to my attention that this website is banning the use of non-original lyrics in stories, so as of the fourth of May, these have been deleted. I still believe that the story is more powerful with them and seeing as how it _is_ a songfic, I wish I didn't have to because feels it unfit to use lyrics even when proper credit is given. Anyway, I suggest viewing this first chapter (the only part with lyrics) at my website. You can find the link in my profile. Once you get there, hit "Ficlets and Songfics" on the right hand side, scroll down and choose "Obvious Heart". The only reason I've decided to keep this up here is because the feedback system is a lot easier. Anyway, I'm sorry for the inconveinence, but I won't risk my account being deleted.

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Rodney McKay sighed softly to himself as he looked over the rolling waves of the ocean surrounding Atlantis. The dark impressions rolled softly over one another, the rhythmic clash prodding him further into his state of melancholy. His hollow eyes roamed over the ominous, black expanses. _'It was bound to happen,' _he thought to himself dismally. The dreaded day had finally come to Atlantis: Valentine's Day. Oh sure, the Hallmark holiday seemed innocent enough—but no more. The hearts no longer stood for deep love, no, now they symbolized wrenching anguish. Cupid was as sweet and innocent as Satan. Cute, wee Cupid no longer—unforgiving, abrasive meddler-of-affairs he was.

He had been a fool, to think that she had some interest in him! Rodney let out a long breath. His body felt wearier and heavier than it ever had, even after every tireless battle he had fought. The physical strain on his body felt then could not compare, no, it couldn't even come close to this, this…_heartbreak_. That felt strangely like the word he was searching for. But, no… He had never _loved _her for long enough…had he?

Try as he did to deny the jolting pain in his heart, it did him no good. Rodney had willingly, though not easily, let those dreadful, fateful words spill from the ink of his pen just hours earlier today—_"I love you"._ Those were not words to be taken lightly, and take them lightly he did not. It seemed odd that such big words had been scrawled on such a small tag. The words themselves were not accompanied by anything but one single object; an object which he'd worked on for hours at a time.

It was a simple necklace to any passing eye—but not to him, and not to her, if she'd even seen it. He had worked and strived for hours to complete the small scene of the very balcony he stood on, the balcony that he and she had conversed for hours on end. It was, in a way, their little spot. But no… It wasn't their little spot anymore, now was it? That was characterized by her absence now. Her absence as she _enjoyed_ the night of the hideous holiday with _him. He_, the man who had captured her affections. _He_, who could receive those three fateful words back from her. _He_, who, unlike Rodney, held her heart.

Rodney ran a hand over his hair, sighing once more. Deep circles cut deeper under his eyes as he gazed above at the stars. They twinkled mercilessly, mocking him with their joy. In those stabs of light he could see the scenes of earlier that day returning to torment him. He could see John Sheppard there, in the stars, with Elizabeth Weir, and he could see himself here, alone and broken…just as before. Rodney clenched his teeth tightly and leaned forward onto the banister of the balcony, feeling the small box in his pants pocket press into his thigh; a painful reminder of what could have been…what _should_ have been…

McKay had been so prepared, for once, to spill his feelings. He had finally gathered up the courage to tell Elizabeth everything. He had finally gathered up the guts to tell her what he felt for her—to tell her that he _loved _her. His feet had taken him on a course guided by memory, his heart pounding in his chest. But instead of the good that he had convinced his heart would come of the trip, he was left with the opposite. A large, intimidating present opened at Christmastime…with nothing inside. No, that was being generous. It would have been enough simply if Elizabeth didn't feel the same way, but this? This was much, much worse. John Sheppard had beaten Rodney to Elizabeth's office…and apparently to her heart. Rodney could not and would not know what had gone on between the two…but a picture was worth one thousand words, was it not? And the picture, the burning, scalding memory of walking in to see their lips touching, their arms intertwined…that was worth more than a thousand words—and more than one thousand tears.

Cruel Cupid was just as merciless as those ever-twinkling stars… The only thing that would cure him of his heartbreak had caused it, just as the only cure was his poison. Innocent Cupid dwelled in paradoxes and brutality, not love and beauty.

'_Where is she now?' _he wondered, the thought grating on a sore, blistered thread of his heart. How obvious the answer was, how painful… _'She's probably in his arms right now,' _he thought bitterly. It struck him that he was jealous—but he didn't care. Did he not have the right to be? Something he lived for, craved for, risked his life for; this potential budding love, had been taken out from beneath him, swept away to be planted in someone else's life. How was he _not _to be jealous?

It was the look in Elizabeth's eyes as she turned, seeing him there, that burned in his mind the most. The guilt, the surprise… Resentful, shallow thoughts stirred to mind but died quickly before they could even reach his lips. Had she been guilty because it wasn't a scene he was supposed to walk in on, or was it because she knew how he felt? His hand reached into his pocket and he closed his fist tightly around the box, feeling it bend beneath his fingers. Bitterness rose in his throat when he decided that it must be the first. How would she feel now, he wondered, if she knew the truth? Rodney took the necklace out of his pocket and out of the box, examining it in the garish moonlight. It seemed now a waste of his time, a waste of his heart… _'Why did I even try?' _Rodney thought to himself bitterly, staring at the pendant. His face twisted in fury: at himself, at Elizabeth, at John, at the world… Rodney clenched his fist and, in one frustrated, impulsive moment, threw the necklace over the balcony. He watched, his limbs trembling with a mix of emotions, as the silvery chain dissolved into the frigid night air.


	2. Part 2 of 2

**Title: **Obvious Heart

**Rating: **PG/PG: 13

**Pairings: **McKay/Weir/Sheppard

**Genre: **Angst/Romance Songfic

**Author's Note:** Not much else to say other than before. I hope you like this last part and please review!

**Disclaimer: **I own the story. The characters are © of MGM and the lyrics belong to Finger Eleven ("Obvious Heart").

**Distribution: **WeirMcKayship 

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The corners of Rodney McKay's lips curled downward as he studied the intricate Ancient device resting on the table below him. He was blissfully unbothered by the other scientists. It had only taken him a few sharp comments to the others before they got the point: he was in a very bad mood. Had his disposition been better, he would've inwardly sniggered each time they skirted around the table.

"D-D-Doctor McKay?" he looked up to see another scientist. It took a long moment for Rodney to connect her face to a name: Dr. Kusinagi. "I brought you some coffee," the woman set down the mug near him as she spoke, looking at him with hopeful eyes.

"Don't you have something better to do?" Rodney snapped at her. As she scurried away he looked back to the device, taking a sip of the coffee as he did so.

_**And full of yourself**_

_**No need to explain**_

_**To anyone else**_

Dr. Zelenka looked over at Rodney from his own desk and sighed. Rodney had been at work on that thing since the crack of dawn. Normally that sort of thing only happened if it was remotely interesting. But Rodney was only examining a keypad that they'd found on one of the doors. Zelenka sighed. Recently, Rodney had been acting rather, well…_odd_. He looked over at the other man to find him staring hollowly at a wall, lost in thought. This was not typical Rodney behavior. If he didn't know better, he would've thought that Rodney was…depressed.

_**Broken in time**_

_**Taken what's left**_

Depressed? Zelenka pondered the thought. Rodney had been like this for several days; ever since Valentine's Day. _'It's probably just a coincidence,' _Zelenka thought to himself, but he couldn't stop the thought from bugging him. _'Or maybe…Maybe he got up the courage to tell Elizabeth.' _Zelenka supposed that he was the only one on base that knew. Not that Rodney had told him: it'd been the little stares and the conversations that had given him suspicion. Thinking of their friendship in a new light led him seeing things that could be contained in the realm of 'more than friends'. "Hey, Rodney," Zelenka said, walking over to McKay. The other scientists had long since left to go and eat lunch, leaving the room empty. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Rodney said, his voice rough.

"You know what I mean," Zelenka replied.

"Nothing's wrong. Don't you have anything better to do with your time than watch people?" Rodney asked sharply and Zelenka was taken aback, surprised that Rodney had noticed him staring.

"You're a real _dupiash _1 when you're upset, you know that?" Zelenka asked him, receiving a glare in response. Before Rodney could open his mouth again, Zelenka cut him off. "It's about Elizabeth, isn't it?"

Rodney shifted in his chair, avoiding Zelenka's eyes for a minute before answering. "It's none of your business." However, in those five words he minus well have simply said 'yes', for the answer laid in his shifting eyes and wavering voice.

_**No need to deny**_

_**The cause or effect**_

Rodney pushed his chair away from the table and stood. "I'm going to go eat," he told Zelenka, anxious to get out of the room. To his surprise, the Czech scientist did not try and stop him as he walked out of the room. Rodney shrugged it off, and instead concentrated on his rhythmic steps. He glanced down at his watch, pondering. How long had it been since he'd eaten something? A rumble in his stomach confirmed that it had been a while.

Ten minutes later, McKay was seated near the back corner of the mess hall, chewing absentmindedly on the power bar he'd unwrapped after his short meal. The seats around him were empty, and he assumed they would stay that way. No one had even attempted to sit down next to him so far. Gossip traveled almost as fast, if not faster, on Atlantis as on Earth, so he supposed that news of his mood had already traveled. That or no one wanted to sit next to him, either choice was fair game. Rodney put his cheek on his hand, looking at the other people. It seemed like he was observing another species. The smiles, the laughing… Rodney cracked the knuckles on his other hand in the silence.

_**This heart is not a broken one**_

_**But where have all the colors gone?**_

Rodney frowned as a female laugh reached his ears. He lifted his head, looking around the room. He knew that laugh…how could he not? It belonged to Elizabeth. McKay rubbed his forehead with his fingers as he searched for her. This was useless, he knew. It would only serve to torment her further. But, for one little second, just a glimpse of her would put his troubles to rest. It was a brief second, but worth all of the torture he went through afterward for it.

_**It's still among the lucky ones**_

The moment Rodney saw her, instead of his heart soaring, it plummeted. There she was, walking into the mess hall…with John Sheppard. Yes, Rodney and John were friends—as 'friends' as it could get between their opposite personalities, anyway. They owed each other their lives, and that created an unspoken bond. But still…in that moment Rodney envied him. There was John, standing next to Elizabeth, smiles on both of their faces.

_**This heart is not a broken one**_

_**But where have all the colors gone?**_

_**You're still among the lucky ones**_

_**And burning longer than the sun**_

Dr. McKay looked down at the table immediately, feeling like an intruder into a private scene. His fingers clutched around the remainder of his power bar, his heart beating faster. A part of him pleaded helplessly that what he'd just seen didn't mean anything…but the rational part of him won over. Just as it'd always had. He knew, just by the little tilt of her head, the extra second her smile stayed on her face, the faint twinkle in her eye…she was in love…with John. Rodney leaned back against the wall, allowing his eyes to shut briefly as if it could shield him from everything. His state was interrupted, however, a moment later.

"Are you all right Rodney?" Rodney waited a moment before he opened his eyes, knowing that Elizabeth had come over. She was sitting across from him, a concerned look on her face. Rodney looked at her, taking in every detail of her face. It tempted him to tell her everything. Shouldn't she know? It was only fair for her to know.

"I'm fine," Rodney replied instead. He continued to look at her, pondering whether or not to tell her his true feelings. _'I should…I need to,' _he thought. Their friendship had always been like that: no secrets between them. How would Elizabeth feel if she had been left out of this detail? But no matter how hard he tried, Rodney kept his mouth shut. He knew telling Elizabeth would stress her; make her feel guilty, and that was one thing he didn't want to do. Sitting here, close enough to bask in her beauty, being her friend; that was enough for him. With her, he was numb to the pain. Why would he try and jeopardize that?

_**Cause there's a remedy close**_

_**In a familiar dose**_

Elizabeth hesitated, looking at Rodney, biting her lip. She was worried about him. They hadn't talked in days. What was wrong? The question nagged at her. Several of the scientists had approached her with details of his behavior, and she knew something was up. Sure, Rodney was sarcastic all of the time, but never quite so much as this. Something had stung him, and she wanted to know what it was. Rodney was her friend, and she'd do almost anything to put a smile on his face. "Rodney…" she said, pausing for a brief moment, "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Rodney replied evasively, shifting in his seat.

Elizabeth sighed softly. "I know something is wrong, Rodney. Please," her expressive eyes pleaded for her, "I care about you a lot. I want to help you."

_**Now you can find out who knows**_

_**Soaking the truth that she says**_

_**In taken chances**_

Rodney opened his mouth, but shut it and looked up as Major Sheppard appeared over his shoulder. He looked the same; the same ruffled, just-got-out-of-bed appearance, the same attitude, but there was something different…some airiness to his step. Rodney knew the cause for it all too well. He clamped his mouth shut and looked back at Elizabeth. "Honestly, I'm fine Elizabeth," he insisted, crossing his fingers beneath the table, "I don't know what you're worried about," he added in a near whisper as Sheppard sat down next to her, setting his food down on the table. Rodney stood up. "I've got to go run some experiments," he said. He cared for Elizabeth, yes, but watching her and John together…it was far more than he could handle. "I'll talk to you later."

Elizabeth watched him walk off silently, her eyes wide and confused. "Bye, Rodney," she called after him, a faint trace of worry in her face.

Rodney ran a hand over his head as he started to walk out of the mess hall. He was so preoccupied with what had just happened that he nearly ran over Zelenka. The other scientist looked at him, a perplexed look on his face. "Rodney-" he began.

"I can't talk now," Rodney tried to brush past him, but Zelenka, in a bold move, reached out, grasping Rodney's forearm.

"Why didn't you tell her?" he asked, watching Rodney's eyes widen. "You had a perfect chance. She needs to know, Rodney."

After digesting the fact that Zelenka had figured out he had a thing for Elizabeth, Rodney came back to his senses. "I've got to get back to the lab," he muttered, shoving Zelenka's arm off of him with remarkable force.

"You didn't answer my question!" Zelenka yelled after him, and Rodney turned around.

"I can't," he replied, spilling more of his heart in those two words than he'd ever confided to the Czech before. With that, Rodney turned, walking quickly out of the mess hall before the other man could stop him once more. Alone at last, he pondered his own words. He couldn't tell Elizabeth how he felt… She would feel guilty. It would ruin her blossoming relationship with John; something that lighted her eyes with happiness. Rodney cared far too much for her than to destroy her happiness with tales of his insignificant feelings. As long as Elizabeth was happy, he was okay.

And if being with John was what made Elizabeth happy, then he would keep his mouth shut about his feelings.

_The End_

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(1) **Dupiash**: _Slovak for asshole. _I'm not sure if this is the correct spelling, but it should be close.

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Author's Note: **I hope you guys enjoyed! I'm considering making a sort-of sequel in the near future (and gasp! with a happy ending!) but we'll see how it goes. :) Anyway...please review! 

**Reviewers:  
**_Margaret: You're brillant! Lol you gave me an idea with the suggestions...hmm... Perhaps I'll write an alternate ending or something. I was considering keeping this the way it is and starting a long story sort of based on it. Perhaps I'll use one of your ideas...if that's all right with you, that is! Thank you so much for the compliments!  
PurpleYin: Ah, but I can! Teehee. :) I'm evil at heart. Thanks for the review:) Hope you liked this chapter as well!_


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